Tag Archives: roller derby

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, Political Muck and Such, True Derby

MEAN PEOPLE

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So, what do you do with the mean people?

You know, the ones you really didn’t intend to have a conversation with, bench or otherwise? But for some reason there one is, right in front of you. A real snake.

A stranger who could not get the door to open and laughingly I showed her how.

Big mistake. My mistake. My attitude, she says, going on to point out all the other gaping holes in my inadequate personality, punctuating each word with venom.

An invitation to fight if there ever was one!

What’s a derby girl to do? Defend? Fight back? She wasn’t very big. I probably could have won. But despite outside appearances, derby girls are smart, not mean.

And they play offense and defense at the same time.

“You know, ” I finally say after a few feeble defenses. “You may be right. I apologize.”

As we walk away my nine year old companion states firmly, “You didn’t have to say that. She started it!” (This coming from the girl who sat in the principal’s office for hitting back at a bully.)

“But I won,” I tell her. “I gave her a way to back down and it just made her look mean and dumb.”

Because sometimes being right may be the wrong thing to be. Or just not worth it.

And, as I heard growing up, you don’t get into a spitting match with a snake.

SKATE ON!

Darla

(Don’t know where this bench is located, and not sure I would sit on it, but thanks to photographer Wieslaw Jarek )

True Derby

There’s science in them wheels….

Oh yes. Behind all the tats, fishnet stockings, crash-crazy names and slamming, there is science. And a lot of that science has to do with the counter-clockwise direction of the play.

Not a spectacle sport any more than racetrack driving, horse races or speed skating is just for fun, derby has physics with a capital P all over it.

But I am more of a writer than a physicist, so let me graciously share this derby girl’s details of the whip, the wall and the centrifugal force of the outside skater….

“Why Counter Clockwise?” by Mathundra Storm

Thanks for showing us the “right” way to look at derby.

SKATE ON!

(photo credit Zack Lynch)

Darla

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, True Derby

A BARREL OF THOUGHTS….

So, here’s a special bench to celebrate the opening of rodeos across the US this month. And all the people who love to talk about the sport.

One thing about benches, you tend to walk right by them and not give a second look.

Except maybe this one in Dothan, Alabama..

Even I, Darla, (whom I humbly consider to be a connoisseur of benches) had to do a double take.

What is it? Barrels? Like the kind the rodeo riders race around? Apparently so.

Makes you just want to try to sit on it, no? Or maybe not. Or at least have a conversation about it…

Derby is that way. Here you are, a normal looking human being, and you tell someone you do roller derby in your spare time and the answer is usually, “Wha.a.at?

Makes them look again at you in a new and interesting way.

(Now, rodeo, that may be a little different because all rodeo folk have this kind of swagger that makes you look again, anyway…)

Point of this barrel of thoughts is that maybe today is a good day to take a second look at the people around you and not just walk on by again. Maybe you don’t know as much about them as you think.

There may be a barrel of stuff you could find out if you just ask a few bench talk questions.

…except maybe not on this bench.

SKATE ON, Y’ALL!

Darla

(Thanks to Travis for sending the photo.)

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True Derby

FAST GIRLS

Just how fast do you have to be in order to qualify as a “fast girl”?

Dear, that’s been the proverbial question throughout the ages of high school locker talk, has it not?

(Ok, if you’re too young to understand that term, try “easy”.)

Well, now the question has evolved away from hallway whispers into some hard, fast rules for qualification as a roller derby competitor.

Oh, yes. I know you skated as a kid. But can you……..?

…Skate 27 times around a regulation track (think skating rink) in 5 minutes?

…Skate backwards at a good pace around the entire track?

…Hop over a 6 inch object while skating at a good pace?

….Turn 180 degrees while skating, both clockwise and counter-clockwise?

Or meet any of the other qualifications set by the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association for approved competition?

Didn’t think so……(unless you have already graduated from derby “fresh meat” bootcamp!)

Hope that gives you a whole new way to look at these truly fast girls…

SKATE ON!

Darla

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Art of the Listen - Bench Talk

to swim or not to swim..

(bench overlooking river in Glacier National Park, Montana)

As you know, I am a great respecter of Bench Time. Bench talk. Bench reflection.

I am an even bigger fan of sitting and watching the water. Lake water. Ocean waves. Babbling creeks.

Looking at water soothes the soul. Makes you one with nature. Gets you back in rhythm.

And if you can combine the two…that is, bench time and water watching, what could be better?

But at some point you have to get off the bench and back into life.

And life is a contact sport. That’s the only way you learn anything. Get physical. Come into contact with the world. Learn to push forward and take your hits with grace.

Take it from Austin roller derby girl Auntie Venon who wrote several years back about her experience as “fresh meat”, a derby wanna-be in training.

“Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes you will get sore/bruised/broken/devastated. Derby is not a sport where you can avoid everything. If you want to avoid contact, try swimming.”

I like it.

SKATE ON!

Darla

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