Tag Archives: listen

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk

SOME ONE HAS TO LISTEN….

It’s an Art, you know.

The Art of the Listen. It’s why I write a lot about park benches.

Takes a very special person to provide this silent, powerful part of any exchange between humans. Here’s a story that hits the right note.

Last evening I attended a musical event. Not a derby festival, but actually a symphony. After the performance (magnificent, if I do say so), a group was talking about their own musical accomplishments. (as it always happens).

“I play classical piano,” said one.

” I taught music for 40 years in New York,” explained another.

“My whole family is musical,” said another. “My mother played piano, my father played the cello, I play the violin. The children are quite accomplished also. My grandfather toured internationally. “

“Oh,” said one in the group. “What about your grandmother? What was her musical instrument?”

The woman laughed. “Oh, grandmother didn’t play anything. In fact, she was quite tone deaf.

“But she always said she was the most important person in the room…

“Because someone needs to listen. Or what’s the point of music?”

It’s an Art.

SKATE ON!

Darla

(Thanks to Eftychia Athenodorou for her Pinterest post of the Music Bench by Jim Glover)

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, Political Muck and Such

Hiding Behind a Hashtag

One thing about having a bench chat with someone…

You can’t hide behind a hashtag.

You are expected to have a conversation.  You can’t just hold up a sign, or point to your gimme cap, or utter a couple of slogans or hashtag phrases and sit complacently with your arms folded, knowing you have been heard.

You have to actually talk about something, and preferably something you know about. Your experience. How you fit into the whole fabric of the conversation.  How you feel about it.  And what you think should or could happen.

Because to squeeze that unique mind of yours behind a phrase, a color, a flag, a candidate…well, frankly my dear,  it turns you into a cutout doll.

Blame the mainstream media, the social media, the advertisers, the campaign designers.  It’s in their job description.

But ultimately, it’s your job to break out and have a conversation.

And once you start talking, all those lines in the sand begin to blur.   The blue wavers get to know the surfer dudes out riding a blue wave.  People on their knees praying learn more about people on their knees protesting.  The me’s get to know the what-about-me’s.

And tattoos cross all imaginary boundaries.   Just ask a skater girl.

So give it a try. Have a conversation with someone you don’t know who doesn’t carry your sign.

Get out in front of the hashtag, the candidate colors, the way-too-easy-conclusions.  Just talk.

And with that, I’m off again…

SKATE ON!

Darla

(Bench photo from the Amtrak station in Minot, North Dakota)

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Art of the Listen - Bench Talk

Word Count Words Count

Oh, how social media has changed the world!

The truncated sentences, the abbreviated words, the absolute disregard for punctuation– because, really, who wants to use up their prized allotment of characters with words that are spelled correctly?

Things have changed now that we have to count words or make sure the best ones appear above the “Read More” line.

Continue reading Word Count Words Count →

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk

Make Like a Dog and Listen

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Good morning, my readers.

Today I offer this suggestion.  Learn to listen like a dog.

I suggest you try it.   Next time you are on a park bench (or just about anywhere, I can suppose), and you are in a conversation with someone (just about anyone, I suppose), listen to your mind.

You will most probably find that your mind is going in all these crazy directions.   Like, say, trying to figure out how to respond to what you hear.  Or, how to argue or agree with what you hear.  Or, listening for a period at the end of the speaker’s sentence so it will be your turn next to speak.

Oh, yes.   I assure you that is what you’ll hear.  And most of the time your mind’s voice drowns out what the speaker is actually saying.

But let’s consider a dog.  Does a dog think about his next response?  Or jump in to offer a nuanced opinion?  Or does she begin to plan her next walk while listening to you?

Of course a dog doesn’t do those things.  A dog just listens.  That’s why we like dogs so much.  They just listen.

Not at all like a cat, who definitely has an opinion about everything.  You can see the wheels turning in a cat’s head while you are speaking to him. In fact, the cat might easily just walk away in the middle of your sentence.

And not like a rabbit, who fidgets and just wants to get away.

So, try this next time you are in a conversation.  Make like a dog and just listen.

What you hear may be richer than the voice in your head at the moment.

And with that thought, I’m off.

SKATE ON!

Darla

(You got to love this pup waiting patiently outside a store in Alpine, Tx.)

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