My dear reader,
There is one conversation that rarely comes up on my benches. But once it does, I will tell you the subject will be discussed in minute detail and usually accompanied with grotesque facial expressions.
It has to do with the Utterly Terrible Insult, or UTI in medical shorthand. You may look it up if you don’t know immediately of what I speak. If you are one of my female followers, you will need no reference resource. If you are one of my dear male readers and are perplexed, start by researching the acronym, because it is not necessarily gender specific.
Or ask your favorite female.
Oh my, it is quite the conversation starter!
I consider myself, in general, to be quite the Warrior Woman. Many spills, bruises and breaks along the way, from which I emerged unshaken. But the UTI has the unique capacity to bring any woman, or unfortunate man, to one’s knees, pleading forgiveness for some unknown infraction that brought this Insult. It may indeed be responsible for the phrase, “give me liberty or give me death”.
I best describe this insult as close quarters with knives. Oh yes, I see a few heads nodding in agreement.
There are natural responses to the Insult, if one wishes to grit one’s teeth before entering the ladies room, where it is recommended you go frequently. But, generally, it makes one crawl to the waiting room of the closest medical clinic where you must undergo a long list of questions before you get the blessed relief.
Questions like:
“How would you describe the pain from 1 to 10?”
Answer: “49”
“Are you sexually active?”
Answer: “ Compared to what? Rabbits? Teenagers? Celibate priests?”
“Are you now or were you ever a smoker?”
Answer: “When I was a teenager.”
“How long ago was that?”
Answer: “Really? Did you not see my Medicare card? Please give me the pills.”
After each conversation about the Insult, I wonder, who came up with the UTI. Someone must have had a fierce sense of humor to invent this one.
Nonetheless, if you can’t find anything else to talk about with someone, try the UTI. It will get things going.
Skate On!
Darla
(Someone please save this beat up bench on the bus stop corner down the road!)