Tag Archives: darla

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, True Derby

A BARREL OF THOUGHTS….

So, here’s a special bench to celebrate the opening of rodeos across the US this month. And all the people who love to talk about the sport.

One thing about benches, you tend to walk right by them and not give a second look.

Except maybe this one in Dothan, Alabama..

Even I, Darla, (whom I humbly consider to be a connoisseur of benches) had to do a double take.

What is it? Barrels? Like the kind the rodeo riders race around? Apparently so.

Makes you just want to try to sit on it, no? Or maybe not. Or at least have a conversation about it…

Derby is that way. Here you are, a normal looking human being, and you tell someone you do roller derby in your spare time and the answer is usually, “Wha.a.at?

Makes them look again at you in a new and interesting way.

(Now, rodeo, that may be a little different because all rodeo folk have this kind of swagger that makes you look again, anyway…)

Point of this barrel of thoughts is that maybe today is a good day to take a second look at the people around you and not just walk on by again. Maybe you don’t know as much about them as you think.

There may be a barrel of stuff you could find out if you just ask a few bench talk questions.

…except maybe not on this bench.

SKATE ON, Y’ALL!

Darla

(Thanks to Travis for sending the photo.)

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True Derby

FAST GIRLS

Just how fast do you have to be in order to qualify as a “fast girl”?

Dear, that’s been the proverbial question throughout the ages of high school locker talk, has it not?

(Ok, if you’re too young to understand that term, try “easy”.)

Well, now the question has evolved away from hallway whispers into some hard, fast rules for qualification as a roller derby competitor.

Oh, yes. I know you skated as a kid. But can you……..?

…Skate 27 times around a regulation track (think skating rink) in 5 minutes?

…Skate backwards at a good pace around the entire track?

…Hop over a 6 inch object while skating at a good pace?

….Turn 180 degrees while skating, both clockwise and counter-clockwise?

Or meet any of the other qualifications set by the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association for approved competition?

Didn’t think so……(unless you have already graduated from derby “fresh meat” bootcamp!)

Hope that gives you a whole new way to look at these truly fast girls…

SKATE ON!

Darla

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Art of the Listen - Bench Talk

WHY WE SAVE OLD LOVE LETTERS

(See the love story below behind this Chimayo, New Mexico bench)

Every bench has a story or two (or probably many more!) that you just don’t know until you strike up a conversation. Certainly the bench isn’t talking!

The owner of the coffee shop/art gallery in Chimayo explained this is a bench his father made by hand for his mother as a wedding present. They would sit looking out at the mountains, the sanctuary across the road and the neighbors who lived on the dirt square—all of whose ancestors came together from Spain to settle in New Mexico.

His parents now look only from their framed photos on the wall. Their son says he doesn’t know how to make benches, even though he is an artist himself. But he will never throw this one away, no matter how old it gets. He will put a fresh coat of paint on it, maybe replace a cushion, but it will stay in the family that still lives on the square.

So, that made me remember a bench conversation with Susan. We shared that each of us had box of old love letters hidden away. Neither of us had looked in the boxes for a long time. The authors were for the most part gone from our lives. No one is meant to read them.

“Why do we keep them, these old love letters?” I asked her.

She answered.

“We keep them because there are some days you just need to be reminded that you have been loved.”

I think that’s a lovely reason, don’t you?

SKATE ON!

Darla

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Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, True Derby

Falling Down

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(broken bench in France.  Photographer unknown, but obviously he or she got up!)

Yes, falling down is a good thing.

Ask any newbie skater in  “Fresh Meat” derby training.  The first thing you are taught is how to fall down.  And how to fall down correctly.  And how to get back up quickly without making a mess of everything and tripping everyone else in the process.

Oh, I can hear you now saying,” just keep from falling down!”

Or, second,” just stay out of roller derby”, you may be thinking.

But, as it is said on every derby track across the world, derby is a  metaphor for life.  And you WILL fall down in the process of life.  In business, in love, in parenting, in…well just in everything.

So, best to be ready.  Take some tips from the girls on the track.

GET PROTECTIVE GEAR.  In derby that is knee pads, elbow pads, wrist bands., a helmet.  In life it may be a circle of friends, good investment advice, some research, a good book to read on a lonely night, a little in savings, a faith in something bigger than yourself.

DON’T FALL BACKWARDS.  Keep moving forward.  it’s easier to use your arms and legs to get up if you are not flat on your butt.  And also easier to break something really important (like your back or your tailbone) if you are hanging back.  Easier to recover in life if you are looking forward.

FALL SMALL.  This, my dear reader, is the most important.  If you know you are going down, get ready.  Knees, elbows, wrists (all padded) in a tight ball, and presto…you’re back up in no time.  And you haven’t tripped up everyone around you or pulled them down with you.

And my favorite, THE BEST TIME TO START THINKING ABOUT GETTING UP IS WHEN YOU ARE HEADED DOWN.

In the meantime, Skate On!

Darla

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Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, Scabs and Other Body Parts

UTI-the Utterly Terrible Insult

My dear reader,

There is one conversation that rarely comes up on my benches.  But once it does, I will tell you the subject will be discussed in minute detail and usually accompanied with grotesque facial expressions.

It has to do with the Utterly Terrible Insult, or UTI in medical shorthand.  You may look it up if you don’t know immediately of what I speak.   If you are one of my female followers, you will need no reference resource.  If you are one of my dear male readers and are perplexed, start by researching the acronym, because it is not necessarily gender specific.

Or ask your favorite female.

Oh my, it is quite the conversation starter!

I consider myself,  in general, to be quite the Warrior Woman.  Many spills, bruises and breaks along the way, from which I emerged unshaken.   But the UTI has the unique capacity to bring any woman, or unfortunate man, to one’s knees, pleading forgiveness for some unknown infraction that brought this Insult.  It may indeed be responsible for the phrase, “give me liberty or give me death”.

I best describe this insult as close quarters with knives.  Oh yes, I see a few heads nodding in agreement.

There are natural responses to the Insult, if one wishes to grit one’s teeth before entering the ladies room, where it is recommended you go frequently.  But, generally, it makes one crawl to the waiting room of the closest medical clinic where you must undergo a long list of questions before you get the blessed relief.

Questions like:

“How would you describe the pain from 1 to 10?”

Answer:  “49”

“Are you sexually active?”

Answer:  “ Compared to what?  Rabbits?  Teenagers?  Celibate priests?”

“Are you now or were you ever a smoker?”

Answer:  “When I was a teenager.”

“How long ago was that?”

Answer:  “Really?  Did you not see my Medicare card?  Please give me the pills.”

After each conversation about the Insult, I wonder, who came up with the UTI.   Someone must have had a fierce sense of humor to invent this one.

Nonetheless, if you can’t find anything else to talk about with someone, try the UTI.   It will get things going.

Skate On!

Darla

(Someone please save this beat up bench on the bus stop corner down the road!)

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