Tag Archives: darla

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk

DECK THE HALLS – FOR JANUARY

Oh, come on, Darla!

January? (I can hear you now). I am just now unpacking the ornaments for the Christmas tree! The turkey leftovers are still fresh in the fridge. January is a year away.

Yeah, me too. Ornaments everywhere. Lists for presents and parties growing. Holiday travel plans. Credit cards out….

So why think about January? Bit of a downer, no?

Agree. January is a downer. So I’ll be ready and on track moving out in January. You can bet the derby teams will be also, with conditioning, auditions and more funky outfits and fierce names.

Don’t get me wrong. This way of thinking isn’t about planning. No, indeed! Don’t plan anything! And it’s not about tightening the ole belt. It’s about living December in the moment with bells on your toes.

We’re not bears, you know. We don’t just put our feet up and snooze the winter months away whilst feasting on our summer catch. It’s down time in high gear.

The people I know who are really living in full December drive while sipping eggnog are the ones cleaning out their closets. Tossing old files. Spring cleaning in December.

Use the kids to clean up and pay them some Christmas spending money for that video game they are bugging you about. You know they will love to stick paper in the shredder.

Take that outfit to Goodwill that didn’t fit this year…or the two years before…and ask for a gift card for Christmas to shop in January.

Jog around the mall before you start shopping. Go chop some wood or dance around the kitchen island while the cookies are in the oven to get in shape. Music blaring. it’s a time to celebrate.

Have robust fun and make space for the next surprise . January is going to love you.

Skate on!

Darla

(photo courtesy of Svetlana Cherruty | Dreamstime.com )

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk

SOME ONE HAS TO LISTEN….

It’s an Art, you know.

The Art of the Listen. It’s why I write a lot about park benches.

Takes a very special person to provide this silent, powerful part of any exchange between humans. Here’s a story that hits the right note.

Last evening I attended a musical event. Not a derby festival, but actually a symphony. After the performance (magnificent, if I do say so), a group was talking about their own musical accomplishments. (as it always happens).

“I play classical piano,” said one.

” I taught music for 40 years in New York,” explained another.

“My whole family is musical,” said another. “My mother played piano, my father played the cello, I play the violin. The children are quite accomplished also. My grandfather toured internationally. “

“Oh,” said one in the group. “What about your grandmother? What was her musical instrument?”

The woman laughed. “Oh, grandmother didn’t play anything. In fact, she was quite tone deaf.

“But she always said she was the most important person in the room…

“Because someone needs to listen. Or what’s the point of music?”

It’s an Art.

SKATE ON!

Darla

(Thanks to Eftychia Athenodorou for her Pinterest post of the Music Bench by Jim Glover)

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk

SOUNDS OF SILENCE

So, I am a bit stumped. I want to say something about saying nothing at all. Keeping your mouth shut. But how do I do that without saying something?

It’s a powerful thing, you know. Every park bench conversation has a moment when one or the other bench warmer has an opportunity to open the mouth and spit out what is on his or her mind. Or just shut up.

Reminds me of some iconic songs. “When You Say Nothing At All”, “Silence is Golden”, and of course, “The Sounds of Silence”.

Recently two of my bench companions had young visitors to their houses. Both visitors were fed a meal and said quite openly that they “don’t like it at all.”

A conversation ensued in both cases.

“I don’t like this. Yuk.”

“In my day, a guest didn’t say that, you know.”

“What am I supposed to say?”

“Say Thank You. Or take a bite and say you aren’t very hungry. Or push it around like you ate some of it.”

“But how will you ever know my opinion of it?”

“Who says I want to know?”

I like the second conversation even more.

“I don’t like this. Yuk.”

“OK, that’s fine. Next time you come over, bring your recipe and your money. You can go to the store and buy the food, cook it, put it in front of me and then I’ll tell you what I think about it.”

Since the world has moved well beyond Miss Manners to a place of opinion staters and influencers, where does Silence fit in?

Because Silence is an art form, you know. Silence speaks volumes. Silence has sound. Silence puts you in the power seat.

Or as Thumper’s mother said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” The best thing that ever came out of Disney.

SKATE ON!

(I’m really liking this painted bench from Las Condes, Santiago de Chile. I think she has her mouth shut…..)

Darla

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, True Derby

THE FUTURE FROM BEHIND

(photo credit: Hanna Dymytriieva | Dreamstime.com )

More bounce per ounce, I say.

Recently I met with a group of derby girls from Seattle, Washington. I asked them about the future of derby.

“It’s the junior skaters,” they said, all in agreement. “They can do all kinds of things we can’t.”

“They fall down and literally bounce right back up. “

“They take chances we didn’t take. They come up with moves we didn’t think about.”

“They are redefining the sport from behind us.”

Seems to me that pretty much sums up life, I thought to myself later.

While we are fretting and arguing and trying to plan the future, maybe we should be looking behind us. To the next generation of chance takers, dreamers and bounce-back-uppers.

They may just sneak up behind us with some answers.

In the meantime, SKATE ON!

DARLA

True Derby

There’s science in them wheels….

Oh yes. Behind all the tats, fishnet stockings, crash-crazy names and slamming, there is science. And a lot of that science has to do with the counter-clockwise direction of the play.

Not a spectacle sport any more than racetrack driving, horse races or speed skating is just for fun, derby has physics with a capital P all over it.

But I am more of a writer than a physicist, so let me graciously share this derby girl’s details of the whip, the wall and the centrifugal force of the outside skater….

“Why Counter Clockwise?” by Mathundra Storm

Thanks for showing us the “right” way to look at derby.

SKATE ON!

(photo credit Zack Lynch)

Darla