It’s gloomy. People move slowly through the mush of winter. Gone is the sparkle of new snow and the rush of the holidays.
What the world needs is a bright one. The person who smiles at you for no reason. A cheery remark. A splash of color.
It could be you today! Be that bright one for no reason.
Skate On!
Darla
Oh, come on, Darla!
January? (I can hear you now). I am just now unpacking the ornaments for the Christmas tree! The turkey leftovers are still fresh in the fridge. January is a year away.
Yeah, me too. Ornaments everywhere. Lists for presents and parties growing. Holiday travel plans. Credit cards out….
So why think about January? Bit of a downer, no?
Agree. January is a downer. So I’ll be ready and on track moving out in January. You can bet the derby teams will be also, with conditioning, auditions and more funky outfits and fierce names.
Don’t get me wrong. This way of thinking isn’t about planning. No, indeed! Don’t plan anything! And it’s not about tightening the ole belt. It’s about living December in the moment with bells on your toes.
We’re not bears, you know. We don’t just put our feet up and snooze the winter months away whilst feasting on our summer catch. It’s down time in high gear.
The people I know who are really living in full December drive while sipping eggnog are the ones cleaning out their closets. Tossing old files. Spring cleaning in December.
Use the kids to clean up and pay them some Christmas spending money for that video game they are bugging you about. You know they will love to stick paper in the shredder.
Take that outfit to Goodwill that didn’t fit this year…or the two years before…and ask for a gift card for Christmas to shop in January.
Jog around the mall before you start shopping. Go chop some wood or dance around the kitchen island while the cookies are in the oven to get in shape. Music blaring. it’s a time to celebrate.
Have robust fun and make space for the next surprise . January is going to love you.
Skate on!
Darla
(photo courtesy of Svetlana Cherruty | Dreamstime.com )
So, what do you do with the mean people?
You know, the ones you really didn’t intend to have a conversation with, bench or otherwise? But for some reason there one is, right in front of you. A real snake.
A stranger who could not get the door to open and laughingly I showed her how.
Big mistake. My mistake. My attitude, she says, going on to point out all the other gaping holes in my inadequate personality, punctuating each word with venom.
An invitation to fight if there ever was one!
What’s a derby girl to do? Defend? Fight back? She wasn’t very big. I probably could have won. But despite outside appearances, derby girls are smart, not mean.
And they play offense and defense at the same time.
“You know, ” I finally say after a few feeble defenses. “You may be right. I apologize.”
As we walk away my nine year old companion states firmly, “You didn’t have to say that. She started it!” (This coming from the girl who sat in the principal’s office for hitting back at a bully.)
“But I won,” I tell her. “I gave her a way to back down and it just made her look mean and dumb.”
Because sometimes being right may be the wrong thing to be. Or just not worth it.
And, as I heard growing up, you don’t get into a spitting match with a snake.
SKATE ON!
Darla
(Don’t know where this bench is located, and not sure I would sit on it, but thanks to photographer Wieslaw Jarek )
The beauty of Bench Talk is that you become the One and Only. The only one to whom the conversation is directed. The Only person who has the ear of your companion at the moment.
It’s a rare thing, being the One and Only. And even though there may be a crowd around, it’s always possible to set up that scenario by just paying attention to the other guy.
I know (and I know you know) plenty of people who talk as if there is a mirror in front of them, practicing the way each sentence sounds.
And you must know plenty of listeners who are really not taking much in, poised for a period or a pause to jump in and say what it is they want to say.
But recently I heard a friend of mine address his banker on the phone like this: “I know you have many other clients. And those clients are very important also. But right now, for just this moment, I need you to make me feel like I am your one and only client.”
So, even though there may be many, many other folks out there reading this blog post, let me assure you that you are the one and only reader for this moment. Your attention makes a difference.
Thanks for being that One and Only! Just wanted to drop in and say that.
SKATE ON!
Darla
(See the love story below behind this Chimayo, New Mexico bench)
Every bench has a story or two (or probably many more!) that you just don’t know until you strike up a conversation. Certainly the bench isn’t talking!
The owner of the coffee shop/art gallery in Chimayo explained this is a bench his father made by hand for his mother as a wedding present. They would sit looking out at the mountains, the sanctuary across the road and the neighbors who lived on the dirt square—all of whose ancestors came together from Spain to settle in New Mexico.
His parents now look only from their framed photos on the wall. Their son says he doesn’t know how to make benches, even though he is an artist himself. But he will never throw this one away, no matter how old it gets. He will put a fresh coat of paint on it, maybe replace a cushion, but it will stay in the family that still lives on the square.
So, that made me remember a bench conversation with Susan. We shared that each of us had box of old love letters hidden away. Neither of us had looked in the boxes for a long time. The authors were for the most part gone from our lives. No one is meant to read them.
“Why do we keep them, these old love letters?” I asked her.
She answered.
“We keep them because there are some days you just need to be reminded that you have been loved.”
I think that’s a lovely reason, don’t you?
SKATE ON!
Darla
