It’s gloomy. People move slowly through the mush of winter. Gone is the sparkle of new snow and the rush of the holidays.
What the world needs is a bright one. The person who smiles at you for no reason. A cheery remark. A splash of color.
It could be you today! Be that bright one for no reason.
Skate On!
Darla
(thanks to Sheryl for this photo of the bench at Harbor Bridge in Sydney, Australia)
So, why put a bench on a bridge? Aren’t you supposed to be moving on to the other side instead of sitting?
Well, maybe that’s the point. Maybe it’s that time you take to sit and realized you are moving on.
Here it is a week since we turned the New Year, and wasn’t that a great transition? A celebration of the past year, a toast to the future and maybe a kiss in the now of the moment.
But did you even give that transition a thought this morning when you got up? You have already moved on, right?
It’s easy to take those reflective moments at important crossroad times, say, New Year’s Eve, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, births, marriages, job changes, house changes.
Especially deaths.
But every day is a moving on day, really, don’t you see? And every transition during the day gives you an opportunity to stop for a brief moment, think about what just happened (even if it was talking out the trash) and feel alive. Before you move on.
So, find a bench, a quiet spot, a moment in the empty space while sitting at a red light and enjoy the experience you just had.
Then move on down the path.
That’s my bench talk for today. Have a glorious one where ever you go.
SKATE ON!
Darla
(broken bench in France. Photographer unknown, but obviously he or she got up!)
Yes, falling down is a good thing.
Ask any newbie skater in “Fresh Meat” derby training. The first thing you are taught is how to fall down. And how to fall down correctly. And how to get back up quickly without making a mess of everything and tripping everyone else in the process.
Oh, I can hear you now saying,” just keep from falling down!”
Or, second,” just stay out of roller derby”, you may be thinking.
But, as it is said on every derby track across the world, derby is a metaphor for life. And you WILL fall down in the process of life. In business, in love, in parenting, in…well just in everything.
So, best to be ready. Take some tips from the girls on the track.
GET PROTECTIVE GEAR. In derby that is knee pads, elbow pads, wrist bands., a helmet. In life it may be a circle of friends, good investment advice, some research, a good book to read on a lonely night, a little in savings, a faith in something bigger than yourself.
DON’T FALL BACKWARDS. Keep moving forward. it’s easier to use your arms and legs to get up if you are not flat on your butt. And also easier to break something really important (like your back or your tailbone) if you are hanging back. Easier to recover in life if you are looking forward.
FALL SMALL. This, my dear reader, is the most important. If you know you are going down, get ready. Knees, elbows, wrists (all padded) in a tight ball, and presto…you’re back up in no time. And you haven’t tripped up everyone around you or pulled them down with you.
And my favorite, THE BEST TIME TO START THINKING ABOUT GETTING UP IS WHEN YOU ARE HEADED DOWN.
In the meantime, Skate On!
Darla
My dear reader,
There is one conversation that rarely comes up on my benches. But once it does, I will tell you the subject will be discussed in minute detail and usually accompanied with grotesque facial expressions.
It has to do with the Utterly Terrible Insult, or UTI in medical shorthand. You may look it up if you don’t know immediately of what I speak. If you are one of my female followers, you will need no reference resource. If you are one of my dear male readers and are perplexed, start by researching the acronym, because it is not necessarily gender specific.
Or ask your favorite female.
Oh my, it is quite the conversation starter!
I consider myself, in general, to be quite the Warrior Woman. Many spills, bruises and breaks along the way, from which I emerged unshaken. But the UTI has the unique capacity to bring any woman, or unfortunate man, to one’s knees, pleading forgiveness for some unknown infraction that brought this Insult. It may indeed be responsible for the phrase, “give me liberty or give me death”.
I best describe this insult as close quarters with knives. Oh yes, I see a few heads nodding in agreement.
There are natural responses to the Insult, if one wishes to grit one’s teeth before entering the ladies room, where it is recommended you go frequently. But, generally, it makes one crawl to the waiting room of the closest medical clinic where you must undergo a long list of questions before you get the blessed relief.
Questions like:
“How would you describe the pain from 1 to 10?”
Answer: “49”
“Are you sexually active?”
Answer: “ Compared to what? Rabbits? Teenagers? Celibate priests?”
“Are you now or were you ever a smoker?”
Answer: “When I was a teenager.”
“How long ago was that?”
Answer: “Really? Did you not see my Medicare card? Please give me the pills.”
After each conversation about the Insult, I wonder, who came up with the UTI. Someone must have had a fierce sense of humor to invent this one.
Nonetheless, if you can’t find anything else to talk about with someone, try the UTI. It will get things going.
Skate On!
Darla
(Someone please save this beat up bench on the bus stop corner down the road!)
One thing about having a bench chat with someone…
You can’t hide behind a hashtag.
You are expected to have a conversation. You can’t just hold up a sign, or point to your gimme cap, or utter a couple of slogans or hashtag phrases and sit complacently with your arms folded, knowing you have been heard.
You have to actually talk about something, and preferably something you know about. Your experience. How you fit into the whole fabric of the conversation. How you feel about it. And what you think should or could happen.
Because to squeeze that unique mind of yours behind a phrase, a color, a flag, a candidate…well, frankly my dear, it turns you into a cutout doll.
Blame the mainstream media, the social media, the advertisers, the campaign designers. It’s in their job description.
But ultimately, it’s your job to break out and have a conversation.
And once you start talking, all those lines in the sand begin to blur. The blue wavers get to know the surfer dudes out riding a blue wave. People on their knees praying learn more about people on their knees protesting. The me’s get to know the what-about-me’s.
And tattoos cross all imaginary boundaries. Just ask a skater girl.
So give it a try. Have a conversation with someone you don’t know who doesn’t carry your sign.
Get out in front of the hashtag, the candidate colors, the way-too-easy-conclusions. Just talk.
And with that, I’m off again…
SKATE ON!
Darla
(Bench photo from the Amtrak station in Minot, North Dakota)
