Category Archives: Political Muck and Such

Darla provides her spin on the daily news.

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, Political Muck and Such

SOME HIPPIE ADVICE FOR TODAY’S WORLD

Like the peace sign. Peaceful marches. Lean on me brotherly love.

Without the current sharp sword of social media or the leaning left and right media coverage, most of that love sign advice was communicated in songs.

One that keeps rattling around my brain these days has these lyrics:

“I knew a man that I did not care for. And then one day, that man gave me a call. We sat and talked about things on our minds. And now that man, he is a friend of mine…”

(from “Reach Out of the Darkness”, Friend and Lover, 1968,)

So whether you remember that group or ever heard the song, it rings truer now that ever.

It’s just simple people science. When you speak of a group of folks all separated out and lumped together by their color/gender/sexual preference/political party/statehood/nationality…you name it…you know nothing about them.

Nothing. Except what you read in the sharp social media posts or left/right leaning media.

When you sit and talk about things on your mind, you find out all kinds of mind-altering things about that other person that may have absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand.

Get curious. You may find a friend.

Reach out of the darkness and give it a try. There’s really nothing uncomfortable about it.

Just some 50 year old advice….and a groovy song.

SKATE ON!

Darla

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, Political Muck and Such, Scabs and Other Body Parts

WHAT ARE YOU SHARING TODAY?

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So, we no longer shake hands or hug friends at a gathering. This week I was taught we can only touch feet with shoes on, touch elbows, or just make a kind of queenly wave at each other as we come in the door.

I’m okay with that, I guess, as long as we can brandish a great smile at each other upon meeting.

But where’s the smile behind all those masks?

Don’t misunderstand.

We need to protect one another from spreadable diseases (even though I’m not sure the mask does all that….)

I liked this article today from a major news outlets (“Coronavirus: Does worrying increase your risk of getting sick?”} that asks: what exactly are we spreading?

“We’re in this fear state, but the fear state turns down the immune system. When you spread fear to your friends, it’s almost like spreading germs to them. You wouldn’t want people to do that to you. We shouldn’t do that to other people,” said David Ropeik.

So, just like a smile or a yawn, fear can also be contagious, he says.

Maybe we do need masks every once in a while, but you can always smile with your eyes.

SKATE ON!

Darla

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, Political Muck and Such, True Derby

MEAN PEOPLE

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So, what do you do with the mean people?

You know, the ones you really didn’t intend to have a conversation with, bench or otherwise? But for some reason there one is, right in front of you. A real snake.

A stranger who could not get the door to open and laughingly I showed her how.

Big mistake. My mistake. My attitude, she says, going on to point out all the other gaping holes in my inadequate personality, punctuating each word with venom.

An invitation to fight if there ever was one!

What’s a derby girl to do? Defend? Fight back? She wasn’t very big. I probably could have won. But despite outside appearances, derby girls are smart, not mean.

And they play offense and defense at the same time.

“You know, ” I finally say after a few feeble defenses. “You may be right. I apologize.”

As we walk away my nine year old companion states firmly, “You didn’t have to say that. She started it!” (This coming from the girl who sat in the principal’s office for hitting back at a bully.)

“But I won,” I tell her. “I gave her a way to back down and it just made her look mean and dumb.”

Because sometimes being right may be the wrong thing to be. Or just not worth it.

And, as I heard growing up, you don’t get into a spitting match with a snake.

SKATE ON!

Darla

(Don’t know where this bench is located, and not sure I would sit on it, but thanks to photographer Wieslaw Jarek )

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, Political Muck and Such

Hiding Behind a Hashtag

One thing about having a bench chat with someone…

You can’t hide behind a hashtag.

You are expected to have a conversation.  You can’t just hold up a sign, or point to your gimme cap, or utter a couple of slogans or hashtag phrases and sit complacently with your arms folded, knowing you have been heard.

You have to actually talk about something, and preferably something you know about. Your experience. How you fit into the whole fabric of the conversation.  How you feel about it.  And what you think should or could happen.

Because to squeeze that unique mind of yours behind a phrase, a color, a flag, a candidate…well, frankly my dear,  it turns you into a cutout doll.

Blame the mainstream media, the social media, the advertisers, the campaign designers.  It’s in their job description.

But ultimately, it’s your job to break out and have a conversation.

And once you start talking, all those lines in the sand begin to blur.   The blue wavers get to know the surfer dudes out riding a blue wave.  People on their knees praying learn more about people on their knees protesting.  The me’s get to know the what-about-me’s.

And tattoos cross all imaginary boundaries.   Just ask a skater girl.

So give it a try. Have a conversation with someone you don’t know who doesn’t carry your sign.

Get out in front of the hashtag, the candidate colors, the way-too-easy-conclusions.  Just talk.

And with that, I’m off again…

SKATE ON!

Darla

(Bench photo from the Amtrak station in Minot, North Dakota)

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Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, Political Muck and Such

“Friendship Benches” in Zimbabwe

Maybe if the TV women who are calling another woman names would just sit down and talk with that woman, there would be a whole different kind of news report.
Benches, like roller derby, are global.  And the need to sit and talk on a bench equally transcends.   From the website “A Mighty Girl” comes this story.   Or check it out yourself at  Friendship Bench Project- Zimbabwe at http://www.friendshipbenchzimbabwe.org/

(Thanks to E for sharing this bench story!)

SKATE ON!

Darla

May 27 at 5:42pm

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