Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, True Derby, Twinkle Lights Stories

24…..

Three derby skaters equal 24 wheels on any given day.

But on some days in history, just the number 24 speaks for everyone.

A day when a person who wore that number on a jersey leaves the world and wheels stop turning long enough for us to acknowledge some truths.

The truth that, like derby skates and skaters, we all come in different colors and sizes. From different places across the world. Different genders. Different sports. Different beliefs about where we go when it’s all over.

And for a moment we can see those common goals and traits of goodness that transcend competition, be it in basketball, politics or religion.

Same vulnerabilities of the body and spirit.

Same heartfelt gratitude that someone with the number 24 provided a glimpse of all that.

Something to remember as the wheels start to turn again.

SKATE ON!

Darla

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk, Skate-On! Gallery, Twinkle Lights Stories

BE THAT BRIGHT ONE….

It’s gloomy. People move slowly through the mush of winter. Gone is the sparkle of new snow and the rush of the holidays.

What the world needs is a bright one. The person who smiles at you for no reason. A cheery remark. A splash of color.

It could be you today! Be that bright one for no reason.

Skate On!

Darla

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk

A BOOMERISH NOTE TO HOLIDAY MILLENNIALS…

Don’t get me wrong. I love millennials. I even have a few.

And Lord knows roller derby needs them for Freshmeat (accepted term for derby newbies, no other implication intended). Even during the holidays.

But when I read a recent MoneyWise article (“OK Boomers, These Christmas Traditions Are Dying Out”), I had a definite Boomerish response.

Granted, there are a few of the 24 things these youngsters are opting out of about which I agree: Rampant consumerism (#7), Overspending (#10). Assuming everyone celebrates Christmas (#20).

And there are some traditions on the list that I have never had a part of: Pets as gifts (#2) – who puts animals under the tree in boxes? Thank goodness there are scented candles. Christmas tree up on Christmas Eve (#14) – why wait? Dancing around the Christmas tree (#18) – like, how? All the furniture has been crammed into existing space to make way for the Christmas tree. Christmas Eve boxes (#24) – ok, so maybe you get to open one present, but that’s a last minute decision, not a box.

I also agree that some traditions are, in fact, a little creepy when you get right down to it: Elf on the Shelf (#4) – actually, I think the millennials invented that one and now regret it. Sitting on Santa’s lap (#6) – goes without saying. Mistletoe (#5) – ok if its the right person, but have you ever had someone approach you with that gleam in his/her eye as you walk in the door?

Then there are some just bratty answers listed: Christmas music (#8) – hey, you have technology. Ask Alexa for the music you want. Hallmark Christmas movies (#9)- same answer – change the channel. White elephant games (#12) – Its a way to avoid #7 and #10 above.

Caroling (#15) – agree that it shouldn’t be used to secure donations or a Go Fund Me event, but lets not throw it away altogether. Fruitcake (#16) – have you ever really had one? Decorating (#21) – I think this meant to be directed to stores, but again, let’s not throw it away.

Stores closed on Christmas (#22) – to repeat, see #7 and #10. Some people just want to stay home that day.

And my favorite from the list: Tradition itself (#17). You would think they were born in the 50’s like the Boomers.

However, I have to wonder to whom this article writer spoke. Christmas cards (#1) tops the list of no-no’s, but at least half of the cards I received this year came first and promptly from the millennials in the crowd.

Then there are the presents: Mandatory family gifts (#3) and Finding that Perfect Gift (#23). There’s always #12. I for one love finding the perfect gift. I look all year long and collect special things. One year I drew pictures because I didn’t have any money for gifts. I guess if that’s not your thing, pick out a special card.

Oh yeah. Forgot about #1. And it involves stamps. So, find the perfect emoji, then. It’s just that time of year no matter what you believe (see #20 again.) A time to connect or reconnect and refresh relationships. A time to spread goodwill. A time to say let’s move forward.

And speaking of relationships, I wish to address this whole group of traditions that respondents say are on the way out: Fancy dinners and meals (#11), Visiting multiple relatives (#13), Being around family (#20),

To that I say, get off your butt. Learn how to use that extra fork in the place setting. Go over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house as quickly as you can. Visit as many people, friends and family as you can fit into your schedule, even if that bossy sister, that cranky uncle, that opinionated cousin are all there.

I guarantee you. When you hit Boomer age and the Freshmeat generation is calling “OK, Millennial!”, you are going to wish you did.

SKATE ON!

Darla

True Derby

AN EYE FOR THE LADIES – KIKO JONES

Alex Rodriguez has his eye on the derby ladies. And they are glad he does!

He’s quite the favorite on the derby circuit. They lovingly gave him the skater name of Kiko Jones when he first showed up on the track to coach the Freshmeat (newbie derby skaters in training).

So what brought this giant of a man ( a former football player, marching band member, roller skater and skateboarder) to roller derby?

“It was a tough time in my life in 2008. Then the derby girls from Austin and Houston, where the derby revival began, needed some help in El Paso where they were staring a new league.”

“They needed help with equipment, wheels, bearings and such, and my background as a skateboarder was just the thing for them. It was just the thing I needed also in my life. I fell in love with the concept and gained so much respect for the ladies who worked so hard. They are special!”

The geologist and petroleum surveyor from El Paso went on to use his skills in the men’s derby league as a blocker. He officiates for three different leagues in three different cities.

“I serve as an outside pack ref, an inside pack ref, a jammer ref and the Eye in the Sky.” The last is not his favorite because he’s not on wheels, but it gives him the overview of the game he loves.

“Officiating is every bit as physically and mentally demanding as the game itself. Unlike many other sports, roller derby officials have to see the whole picture of a rule infraction before they can call it. What or who caused it, what the actual infraction is and what was the consequence. All in a split second and on wheels!”

Kiko Jones loves the sport of roller derby. But mostly he loves the girls.

“I’ve learned so much about women. Their passion, their many different and dynamic personalities, how they work so hard and sacrifice their bodies and times for the sport they love.

I love and respect women more than ever.”

SKATE ON, KIKO JONES!

Darla

(Look for more about Alex and other strong derby participants in the 2020 launch of Darla’s book and presentation “Strong Women, Fast Wheels, New Rules: How Roller Derby Can Change Your Life Without Ever Putting on Skates” – a look at the derby rules that can be applied to everyone’s life. Visit Darla’s website to watch for the release and to subscribe to blogs like this)

Art of the Listen - Bench Talk

DECK THE HALLS – FOR JANUARY

Oh, come on, Darla!

January? (I can hear you now). I am just now unpacking the ornaments for the Christmas tree! The turkey leftovers are still fresh in the fridge. January is a year away.

Yeah, me too. Ornaments everywhere. Lists for presents and parties growing. Holiday travel plans. Credit cards out….

So why think about January? Bit of a downer, no?

Agree. January is a downer. So I’ll be ready and on track moving out in January. You can bet the derby teams will be also, with conditioning, auditions and more funky outfits and fierce names.

Don’t get me wrong. This way of thinking isn’t about planning. No, indeed! Don’t plan anything! And it’s not about tightening the ole belt. It’s about living December in the moment with bells on your toes.

We’re not bears, you know. We don’t just put our feet up and snooze the winter months away whilst feasting on our summer catch. It’s down time in high gear.

The people I know who are really living in full December drive while sipping eggnog are the ones cleaning out their closets. Tossing old files. Spring cleaning in December.

Use the kids to clean up and pay them some Christmas spending money for that video game they are bugging you about. You know they will love to stick paper in the shredder.

Take that outfit to Goodwill that didn’t fit this year…or the two years before…and ask for a gift card for Christmas to shop in January.

Jog around the mall before you start shopping. Go chop some wood or dance around the kitchen island while the cookies are in the oven to get in shape. Music blaring. it’s a time to celebrate.

Have robust fun and make space for the next surprise . January is going to love you.

Skate on!

Darla

(photo courtesy of Svetlana Cherruty | Dreamstime.com )