So, you think bench talk is all chatter about this and that?
Consider this more grave topic. Benches in the cemeteries.
Oh, I see you are a little uncomfortable with this, perhaps? Is it because you don’t sit on benches in cemeteries?
Or maybe you don’t talk to other people there. Continue reading A Bench with Grave Implications
Off to Augusta, Georgia, to see the derby girls with the Soul City Sirens! You’ll love this talk with Lil’ArieHell, aka Nina, who was introduced to derby by a stranger at the farmers market there.
Where did you get your derby name? My first choice was AireHell because I have naturally red hair and my favorite colors are purple and teal. I had to be a mermaid! But I found that name was taken by a player who lives in Germany from a town close to where I grew up. So I added the “Lil'” to the name. With Derby growing, there are more name doubles now and I was conflicted.
What is your life outside of derby? I am a Jack of all Trades, Master of None. I work for a Roller Derby subscription box company called Bout Betties. My hobbies are herbalism, health and wellness, food, birth and breastfeeding education. All things crafty.
How did you get into Derby? Until I met a woman at the farmers market in April 2015, I had never done a sport in my life, aside from going to the gym 5 – 10 times a year. She said she liked the baby carrier I was carrying my son around in and next thing I knew I had agreed to check out the Soul City Sirens. Now, three years later, I am an active person who plays a team sport year round and works out regularly.
What do people say when they find out you do Roller Derby? “Whaaaaat? You play Roller Derby???” or “Augusta has a Roller Derby team?” or “Do you throw elbows?”
Describe the derby community. Our team has seen the worst and the best of derby, which I hear is quite common. Derby is not drama free. It’s real, it’s life, it’s a family. Families love, protect and will have your back. Sometimes families fight or even decide to go separate ways. If you are looking for Utopia, you are in the wrong place. But if you are looking for a weird, crazy family that has your back on the track, you are in the right place.
What is your biggest challenge and biggest achievement with Derby? I have to overcome the anxiety sometimes about jamming. I absolutely love jamming, it’s amazing when you do a good thing, but I feel nauseous just thinking about it. The biggest achievement is that I love my body now. Like many women, I’ve fought my body most of my teen and early adulthood, only seeing the things I didn’t like about it. Now I still see those things, but the things I love about my body outweigh the ones I don’t. I now fight alongside of it, not against it.
What do you see for the sport of derby? Roller Derby is growing, and on the way it is changing. You can see it inching towards being more of a main stream sport that focuses on athleticism. I love that, but have heard that not everyone likes that trend.
Thanks, Lil’ArieHell.
SKATE ON!
Darla
“So, Darla,” my dear readers ask, “I do listen to other people. Why don’t people listen to me?”
Oh, I see you’ve noticed. That’s the first step, of course. Being able to see the eyes glazing over, the yawn behind the hand, the fidgeting…you might be surprised at how many people actually don’t notice that they are boring their conversation companion to tears.
So how to get your companion to listen to you?
Talk in colors.
You may have heard that artists are told to tell a story with their painting. So you need to paint a story with your words.
Let’s say, instead of “I went for a walk today and there were flowers…”, try “You should have seen all the shades of purple on Broadway today.”
Or, ” I am so exhausted, I just want to go take a nap…”, try, “I can just imagine what it would be like to bundle up in that red afghan my mother knitted for me and take a nap.”
Enticing, yes? And bound to elicit a colorful response.
Try it, and see if your bench companion isn’t hanging on your every yellow.
Until next time, then, you with the golden gift of gab.
SKATE ON!
Darla
(Surely you recognize this bench in Guell Park near Barcelona, Spain, designed by the master of color himself, Antoni Gaudi!)
Good morning, my readers.
Today I offer this suggestion. Learn to listen like a dog.
I suggest you try it. Next time you are on a park bench (or just about anywhere, I can suppose), and you are in a conversation with someone (just about anyone, I suppose), listen to your mind.
You will most probably find that your mind is going in all these crazy directions. Like, say, trying to figure out how to respond to what you hear. Or, how to argue or agree with what you hear. Or, listening for a period at the end of the speaker’s sentence so it will be your turn next to speak.
Oh, yes. I assure you that is what you’ll hear. And most of the time your mind’s voice drowns out what the speaker is actually saying.
But let’s consider a dog. Does a dog think about his next response? Or jump in to offer a nuanced opinion? Or does she begin to plan her next walk while listening to you?
Of course a dog doesn’t do those things. A dog just listens. That’s why we like dogs so much. They just listen.
Not at all like a cat, who definitely has an opinion about everything. You can see the wheels turning in a cat’s head while you are speaking to him. In fact, the cat might easily just walk away in the middle of your sentence.
And not like a rabbit, who fidgets and just wants to get away.
So, try this next time you are in a conversation. Make like a dog and just listen.
What you hear may be richer than the voice in your head at the moment.
And with that thought, I’m off.
SKATE ON!
Darla
(You got to love this pup waiting patiently outside a store in Alpine, Tx.)
I love the Texas derby girls! Here’s a great True Derby star.
Lady McDeath, known also as McKay, is an art teacher at Ball High School in Galveston, Texas with a degree in psychology and a Master of Fine Arts. She skates with South Side Roller Derby, one of the only banked track leagues in the area, and also with the travel team CutThroat CupCakes.
You’ll love her story.
When did you start derby and why? Best thing that ever happened to me as an adult. Summer before I discovered derby I suffered a case of clinical depression. An existential crisis. I had heard of roller derby and some of my friends did derby, and even though I couldn’t skate, I thought it was the coolest thing. So when I was given a free entry to a derby boot camp, I thought “What am I waiting for.” I went. I was the worst one there. It was the most humiliating and intimidating thing I had ever done in my life. After the camp, I called my Mom and said, “I hurt, I stink and I’m in love.” I just wanted to keep skating and see how far I could go. I was so bad the first two years, so if I can do it, anyone who can get up on skates can do it. I told my friends who wanted to come and watch, “I’ll be the one on my ass most of the time.”
How did you pick the derby name? I have a theater background working as a scenic artist. We had just finished a production of Lady McBeth as a UIL competition when I started derby, and had it on the brain. It just felt right.
What do people say when they hear that you derby? One of two reactions. The first is “OMG, that’s so cool.” The second is “You look like someone who would do roller derby”. I am 6’ tall with blue hair and tattoos. I look the sterotype.
Favorite part of derby? I love the physical part. Women are taught to be nice, not pushy. Now I can be pushy if I want and set aside the need to be the nice girl. That spreads over into my life. Now I can go for what I want and say what I want.
Least favorite part of derby? I’m smart, but not a quick learner physically. It takes me longer to learn techniques. But I’ve learned to be patient and fake it till I get there.
What about derby do people not know? Most people see roller derby as a girl sterotype, like women wrestling. A burlesque on wheels kind of thing. And some leagues own that for their image. I see derby from its totally disciplined side. It’s a lot of hard work and athletic. Even for someone who is 6 ft tall, has blue hair and tattoos.
There is talk that roller derby may become an Olympic sport. I think we all have mixed feelings about that. On one hand we would love the heightened attention to our sport, but that would bring with it all the things that go along with big sports….the endorsements, the elite training and coaching. We don’t want roller derby to lose the flavor that makes it so unique.
Describe the derby community: The derby community is one the best things about the sport. We are all there for each other. If someone gets hurt and goes to the hospital, we are there with her. You are always free to call a team member and just vent, day or night. Same goes for family problems or a need to get out of jail (which so far I haven’t had to do!)
Advice to younger girls—what have you learned from derby? Be patient with yourself. You will never be good at anything if you aren’t patient. You have to be bad before you get good. Also be who you are. And it’s okay to let it all out. People tell me I’m more positive now than before I started skating. More me.
THANKS, LADY McDEATH. SKATE ON!
–Darla
